🌱Admitting I Was Burned Out

A 3 min read.

In the fall of 2022, I reached a point in my career where I knew something had to change. Burnout had crept in, though I was reluctant to admit it. My friend Steve recommended I try working with a professional coach. At the time, I was already seeing a therapist, but I was curious—what exactly could a coach do for me, especially as a leader in the hospitality industry? I decided to give it a shot.

My therapist helped me process past issues and uncover the reasons behind certain choices, like using alcohol to cope with career stress and anxiety. But after my complimentary session with the coach, I realized coaching was different. Coaches focus on the present and the future, guiding you to achieve your potential in real time. They don’t delve into past traumas or explore root causes—they help you build a path forward.

If you are ready to create your new path forward, I've got you. Reach out at christinlmarvin@gmail.com

This was exactly what I needed.

I was searching for more than just career advice; I wanted to rediscover my passion and confidence. I wanted a fulfilling career and a life that didn’t demand constant sacrifice. I was looking to finally put myself first after years of putting my career above everything else—my family, friends, health, and mental well-being. With my coach’s help, I started to reimagine what my life and career could look like if they were aligned with my values.

Rediscovering My Values

In our first few sessions, my coach and I dug deep to define my core values. These were the guiding principles that, when fully embraced, would drive my happiness and fulfillment. My values turned out to be consistency, curiosity, freedom, leadership, drive, confidence, and impact. We rated each one on a scale of 1 to 10, identifying where I was thriving and where I needed improvement. I focused on each value individually, designing strategies to embody each one.

For example, I wanted to be more consistent—consistent in my self-care, in prioritizing my health, and in setting boundaries around my work. I committed to a morning routine from 5:00 a.m. to 8:00 a.m., dedicated to exercise, meditation, walking my dogs, and staying off email and social media. My coach held me accountable to this commitment, and soon, I began feeling the benefits of starting my day with a clear mind and focused intention.

Realizations About My Burnout and Hyper-Achiever Mindset

Through coaching, I uncovered a critical insight: I was a hyper-achiever, always chasing the next accomplishment without taking time to appreciate what I’d already achieved. My sense of worth was deeply tied to my productivity, so I filled every day with to-do lists and meetings, never pausing to celebrate milestones. I realized this mindset, while useful in some ways, had driven me to burnout.

If you are curious about whether or not your mindset is holding you back, grab your FREE copy of my audiobook, The Hospitality Leader's Roadmap: Move from Ordinary to Extraordinary and listen to Chapter 33.

Allowing myself to admit I was burned out was transformative. Burnout wasn’t something you talked about openly in the restaurant industry; it was often seen as a weakness. But by naming it, I began to understand how my career and personal life had become unsustainable. My coach encouraged me to rethink my beliefs about “the grind” and guided me in setting boundaries that reflected my personal and professional goals.

Coaching: A Life-Changing Experience

Working with my coach was pivotal in shifting my mindset. He helped me recognize the negative thoughts that were holding me back and equipped me with the tools to manage them. He held a mirror up to my behaviors, showing me how they impacted my life, leadership, and relationships. Each session left me more self-aware, focused, and committed to positive change.

In one of our sessions, I had a breakthrough that reshaped my future: coaching itself was my calling. It became clear that I wanted to help other leaders in the hospitality industry overcome their own struggles with burnout, stress, and self-doubt. My experience with coaching had shown me that leadership isn’t just about reaching targets and achieving success; it’s about building a sustainable, fulfilling life.

Ready for Your Own Breakthrough?

The journey from burnout to brilliance is possible—and coaching can be the catalyst you need. If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure about your next steps, consider working with a coach. This partnership can help you realign with your values, set meaningful goals, and create a path toward a more balanced and fulfilling life.

Are you ready to unlock your potential and redefine success on your terms? Visit

to learn how working together can help you prevent and overcome burnout. Let’s build a life and career that genuinely fulfills you.

P.S.

For more leadership development, here are some additional resources for you:

1. My book, The Hospitality Leader’s Roadmap: Move from Ordinary to Extraordinary is available at christinmarvin.com/book.

2. Tune into the No Hesitations Podcast Episode 32 : How to Lead with Clarity : 5 Strategies for Effective Restaurant Management

3. Contact me for a strategy session about overcoming your biggest challenge at christinlmarvin@gmail.com and start transforming your mindset, your restaurant, and your life today!

🌱Advocating for Myself: Reclaiming My Confidence and Strength

A 3 min read.

The turning point in my career came during a one-on-one meeting with my manager, Richard, that left a lasting impact on my confidence. Richard had arranged to meet me in a small room in our shared co-working space. His first words were, “I don’t know how to communicate with you,” before he handed me a document—my first performance improvement plan (PIP). Traditionally, a PIP is designed to provide support for employees by outlining clear, achievable goals, tools, and resources. But this PIP felt more like a weapon than a supportive document.

Richard was using the PIP as ammunition, laying out a clear message that my job was at risk if I didn’t meet his target for lowering actual versus theoretical food costs. This was shocking, considering my positive performance reviews and the praise I’d received for my role in successful restaurant openings. I had even earned raises and was encouraged to further develop my skills in our new systems. Yet here I was, facing a potential job loss.

In our organization, PIPs had typically been a last-resort measure, something we used to legally protect the company when an employee’s performance wasn’t meeting expectations. I had prepared PIPs for managers before, always ensuring they understood the support we could offer and that our goal was to help them succeed. But this was different. Richard’s approach felt harsh and intimidating, offering no encouragement, tools, or plan for regular check-ins. By the end of the conversation, I was visibly shaken, holding back tears as he asked me, “How does this make you feel?” I replied, “This feels like shit.” That seemed to be his intention.

I left work that day devastated and numb. Overwhelmed by stress and self-doubt, I went to a bar to quiet the judgmental voice in my head that constantly told me I wasn’t good enough. For the first time in my career, I had a leader who didn’t believe in me, and it took a toll on my confidence. Despite this, I resolved to prove to Richard and myself that I was capable. I would bring down the food costs and show him that he couldn’t define my worth.

If stress and self-doubt are taking a toll on your performance, I can help. Let's connect at christinlmarvin@gmail.com

Embracing Resilience

Over the next ninety days, I leaned on my colleagues, Steve and Randy, and focused intently on our food cost metrics. Together, we reviewed invoices, performed inventory, and analyzed ordering and receiving practices. With the support of my team and a strategic approach, I managed to meet Richard’s target. When the time came to review my progress, I walked into the office, presented my results, and left with my job intact and my salary adjusted. It was a hard-won victory and a turning point in reclaiming my confidence.

Shortly after, Richard left the company. His parting words? “You’re going to hate my replacement.” I saw this as a reminder of the toxic approach I was moving away from and the type of leader I never wanted to become.

A Lesson in Leadership and Self-Advocacy

Looking back on this experience, I gained valuable insight into the kind of leader I aspired to be. A supportive leader builds strong relationships based on mutual respect, offers guidance, and communicates openly. Employees thrive in environments where they feel valued and encouraged, leading to higher engagement, stronger morale, and a sense of purpose. Richard’s departure was a relief, but the lesson he left behind was priceless: leadership can either build confidence or break it.

If you’re struggling with self-doubt or facing a challenging leader, know that your worth isn’t defined by others’ opinions. Advocate for yourself, trust your abilities, and seek environments that encourage your growth. Building your confidence begins with believing in your own value. I'm here if you need help. Reach out anytime at christinmarvin.com/contact

P.S.

For more leadership development, here are some additional resources for you:

1. My book, The Hospitality Leader’s Roadmap: Move from Ordinary to Extraordinary will be available on Amazon October 15th in paperback, ebook and audiobook.

2. Tune into the Restaurant Leadership Podcast Episode 32 : How to Lead with Clarity : 5 Strategies for Effective Restaurant Management

3. Contact me for a strategy session about overcoming your biggest challenge at christinlmarvin@gmail.com and start transforming your mindset, your restaurant, and your life today!

🌱As a Leader, It's Your Job to Make Your Team the Hero, Not Be the Hero

A 1 min read.

As a restaurant owner, it’s easy to think your role is to be the hero of your establishment. However, true leadership lies in empowering your team to shine. When your staff feels valued, they become the driving force behind your restaurant’s success.

Great leadership fosters an environment where team members thrive. Actively listen to their ideas, provide opportunities for growth, and recognize their contributions. Celebrate achievements and create a culture of collaboration. When your team feels appreciated, they are motivated to deliver exceptional service and go above and beyond for your guests.

Investing in your team means providing the tools and training they need to excel. Equipping them with skills transforms ordinary employees into extraordinary leaders. Their success directly contributes to your own.

Remember, your success as a restaurant owner is measured by the successes of your team. Your job is not to be the hero, but the guide who helps them discover their own heroism.

If you’re interested in exploring more about effective leadership in the hospitality industry, grab a copy of my book, The Hospitality Leader's Roadmap: Move from Ordinary to Extraordinary. Available in ebook, paperback, and audiobook formats at christinmarvin.com/book, it’s designed to help you cultivate the leadership skills necessary to inspire your team and transform your restaurant.

P.S.

For more leadership development, here are some additional resources for you:

1. My book, The Hospitality Leader’s Roadmap: Move from Ordinary to Extraordinary will be available on Amazon October 15th in paperback, ebook and audiobook.

2. Tune into the No Hesitations Podcast Episode 32 : How to Lead with Clarity : 5 Strategies for Effective Restaurant Management

3. Contact me for a strategy session about overcoming your biggest challenge at christinlmarvin@gmail.com and start transforming your mindset, your restaurant, and your life today!

🌱Characteristics of a Great Leader: Lessons from the Hospitality Industry

A 2 min read.

In the hospitality industry, leadership is about more than just keeping operations running smoothly; it’s about inspiring a team to grow, thrive, and work toward a shared vision. Reflecting on my time at Mountain Top, one of the key elements of our success was the exceptional leadership that guided us, along with the team culture we built together.

To read more and gain insights into over 30 leadership lessons in hospitality, grab your copy of The Hospitality Leader's Roadmap: Move from Ordinary to Extraordinary, available on October 15th on Amazon.

We intentionally hired people who were curious, respectful, self-aware, and caring. This team bought into the vision of becoming the best restaurant in town and embraced a culture of teamwork and learning. With tip-pooling in place, each team member saw the entire dining room as their responsibility. They were quick to help one another and truly invested in providing the best guest experience.

One of our most memorable moments was hosting Jacques Pépin's 60th birthday party. His celebration, filled with love and admiration from his family and friends, highlighted the importance of kindness and humility, qualities that great leaders embody.

At the heart of our success was our general manager, Matthew. His leadership was rooted in knowledge, discipline, trust, and respect. Coming from Union Square Cafe, Matthew brought philosophies from Setting the Table into our restaurant, emphasizing guest experience and employee care. He introduced the concept of "Something For Nothing" (SFN) — opportunities for staff to surprise and delight guests by going above and beyond. Whether it was writing a message on a dessert or ensuring a guest had safe transportation after a long night, these gestures helped foster a service-oriented culture.

Matthew's leadership extended beyond guest care. He set clear expectations and held us accountable while balancing discipline with humor. His one-on-one coaching sessions were invaluable, teaching me the importance of follow-up and self-advocacy. A leader’s role, as he showed, is to provide the tools and resources needed for their staff to succeed. This lesson shaped my management style and set the foundation for my future growth as a leader.

If you are wanting to enhance your leadership, I can help. Let's connect at christinlmarvin@gmail.com

Through Matthew’s mentorship, I learned that great leadership is about creating an environment where learning and growth are constant. Weekly pre-shift meetings, where we discussed menu presentations and wine pairings, were a testament to this. I became certified as a sommelier and expanded my knowledge of mixology, enriching my understanding of the industry.

While I didn't get the opportunity to become general manager at Mountain Top, the lessons I learned from Matthew stayed with me. Leadership is about more than the title; it’s about creating systems that support your team and the business. Leaders who inspire growth, uphold high standards, and foster a culture of respect and learning are the ones who truly leave a lasting impact.

If you’re ready to take your leadership to the next level and learn more about the journey from ordinary to extraordinary, grab your copy of The Hospitality Leader’s Roadmap when it releases on October 15th. Don't miss out on the tools and insights that can transform your leadership approach and your restaurant’s success.

P.S.

For more leadership development, here are some additional resources for you:

1. My book, The Hospitality Leader’s Roadmap: Move from Ordinary to Extraordinary will be available on Amazon October 15th in paperback, ebook and audiobook.

2. Tune into the No Hesitations Podcast Episode 32 : How to Lead with Clarity : 5 Strategies for Effective Restaurant Management

3. Contact me for a strategy session about overcoming your biggest challenge at christinlmarvin@gmail.com and start transforming your mindset, your restaurant, and your life today!